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Talk:All Too Human/@comment-26054278-20180215025709
I do congratulate the author on "Pasta of the Month", and, now that I've read the full pasta, I certainly see why it received the title. The most admirable thing about this story is the way in which the AI's voice is consistently present throughout. Certain phrases and sections feel repetitive, but they're very intentional, as they come across as reassurance for the thoughts the AI is progressing towards. While I had a feeling of where the story was going to lead, there was only once or twice where I felt the AI was lingering too long on a specific subject. His thought process flows naturally, and this contributes to making the AI's voicing/character the ultimate strength of this story. I appreciate the ideas "All Too Human" explores. I have some minor issues with how exactly they're addressed (which I'll get into later), but the information the AI does come across and his justification for his emotional responses are properly represented in the story. The more disturbing parts of the Creepypasta, for me, came from the AI discovering and describing events in history that they had never seen before. Everybody is aware of the Holocaust, but seeing the intelligence describe the horrific situation before even referring to it by it's title made for a much more powerful moment. As for the ending, there's both positives and negatives here. On one hand, I did find this to be a satisfying conclusion. Based on everything that came before it, everything does add up and build to this final realization for the AI, and, as I stated earlier, the voice in which it is communicated is quite well done. However, I would say that I'm not blown away by this ending, and that I did predict, to an extent, how the story was going to turn out. This isn't the most original idea, but the format in which it is addressed (by giving this AI such a unique voice) is what truly makes the ending hit. Good pacing! (I also appreciate you not going for the cliche "AI destroys humans because of war and hate" ending, because having him consider love and possible "fixes" of humankind is a lot more interesting.) Some might argue this story lacks inherent "creepiness", and while I do kind of agree, I would say that the story has enough disturbing moments to justify being a Creepypasta, and that the implications of the ending could be fairly creepy depending on how you view it. Overall, I think this story succeeds on a proper narrative level, but it definitely doesn't necessarily forget to be a "Creepypasta" either. There are a couple flaws. I did state the not-extremely-original ending earlier as one of them, but beyond that I identified one or two more that personally stuck with me. While I do like that you addressed many philosophical topics and had this AI trying to come to a conclusion, the way love is worked in feels a bit weakly handled. With the disasters, the AI specifically mentioned and poured off some extremely tragic events, and the description is what sold that part of the story to me. When the AI brings up love, they aren't many specific examples, and the story doesn't exactly tie back to the old examples or try to connect it with the previous negatives. The way the subject is addressed is fine, and the conclusion the AI reaches makes sense at that point in the story, but with the influx of information he was receiving, I figured he would have maybe fixated on one specific event (or more than one) great result coming from humanity. Even a small act delved into at great detail would've worked pretty well. As for other complaints, there is only one I think of, and its rather small. In the middle section, the machine's creator is somewhat clumsily introduced and then taken out of the picture rather quickly. I understood his purpose, but regardless, he could have been introduced or built-up a little better. 8/10. "All Too Humans" is engaging, intriguing, and, despite some gripes I have with it, undeniably worthy of PotM. Click here to see more critiques!